A Word from the Momma

I must admit it is so much fun giving updates on my babes and writing fun stories about camping and beach days etc...but there is one aspect of life that I tend to avoid talking about as much as possible, however it plays a major role in our everyday lives. Most of you who read this know about my Arthritis and how it affects our family. For immediate gratification purposes I'm doing this blog for friends and family and curious onlookers but for the most part am really doing this to document life and memories and adventures for our kiddos to have to look back on. So for that reason I felt like I needed to start writing about some of the not so fun stuff as well. So our days are often dictated by pain and how I'm feeling for the day. It determines if we have a stay at home jammie day or if we venture out to the beach for the morning. I spent months longing to do what all the other moms do, aching for all the things I wish I could be for my family, grieving over how much I can't do but then several months ago I was in a Bible study at church going through the book of Romans and we were in Chap. 4 that week talking about the faith of Abraham. Our study leader shares a message at the end of our lesson and here are some thoughts she shared:

Faith is directed upward, not inward
Faith is for the long haul i.e. remaining steadfast.
Faith is not a singular event - it is an ongoing way of life as circumstances hit, ups and downs etc...
Abraham was a faith filled, righteous man and even though he was not perfect by any means if you read any of his story you know that he had some junk in his past yet God said "he did not waver". Because by faith he was wiped clean.

So you may be wondering where in the world this is going...I certainly was as I was taking notes that week:) The point was more talking about how we have NO CONDEMNATION in Christ Jesus yet the way God spoke to my heart was way out in left field...evidence of how He meets us right where we are at...I happened to be in left field:) We were challenged to look at the fact that we too had the same faith as Abraham...God looks at those who know and love him and can say "he did not waver", how can that be true of me? I have prayed through all of my limitations that I would be able to carry pain gracefully yet daily fail so miserably at that. So are you ready...here it comes...all of this rambling comes to this point:

Stop looking at your limitations - expect God's perfect promise to be fulfilled. It's that simple - allow God to be God in every situation!

To me, this point was profound...I had been looking at my physical limitations instead of remembering that my health comes as no surprise to my God. He has gifted me in unique ways, he has blessed my life and there are so many things I CAN do and I can choose to live confidently in that. Since then, I have felt so inspired to just get a bit more creative with those hard pain days and I must say that we have had a blast on jammie days now:)

I am so thankful for the understanding husband that God has given me, one that is so willing to jump in and help out. One that still smiles at me if he comes home and dinner is not even started instead of sighing that he worked all day and there's no food ready:) He is amazing with our kids and has become creative in things our family can all do together to cater to my health. He accepts me right where I am, even if things never get any better.

My sweet Lilly is the most precious little girl with such a nurturing heart. She is a feisty little thing, but you should see her when it's just us at home and she can tell if I'm having a hard day. There is nothing sweeter than listening to your little 2 year old pray "Jesus, please help my Momma's legs feel better today." oh how blessed am I?! and then to hear her exclaim "Jesus did it Momma, He made your legs feel better" and she's right, He does answer her prayers.

Then there is our little Benjamin who is such a little cuddler! I am convinced that God knows how much we can handle...he really has spoiled us and given us easy babies! He is so content to just be home and play and snuggle and take naps when Lilly does so I have a bit of down time in the afternoon. I know this is a miracle!

So where are things now? Well, we have started on medication for my RA (Rheumatoid Arthritis) and it seems to be helping which is a relief even though I have fought against taking medication it really does make things easier. And another huge answer to prayer is our appointment at Duke last week meeting with an orthopedic surgeon who will do my knee replacement! This will be our final joint replacement in a series of 4 of them! YEA!!! We are so excited at how God provided an amazing Dr. in an amazing facility and we look forward to getting this over with! We are still so hopeful this will provide even more relief from the constant pain.

Oh what a ridiculously long post, but one that's been brewing in my mind for quite some time. So now as you read about all of our fun family adventures you can know that none of them take place without some behind the scenes miracles, a patient and wonderful understanding husband, some flexible kiddos and a momma who has made a choice to stop looking at my limitations and instead rejoice at the ways that God is still God and very much in control and care of our needs as a family.